I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
