i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I want is dick and wine.
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