Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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