so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I have tasted many bathrooms
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
