Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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