"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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