You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
