Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
