windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
