I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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