My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
