I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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