I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
