If i come over, it means nothing
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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