I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My liver just had a heart attack.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
