I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
