I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
