Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
