we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
