Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
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