oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
