I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Houston, we have a blender
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize