I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
