Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
