Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
