We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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