fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
