we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
