if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
