woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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