I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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