and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
