whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
