I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
