Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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