so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
barbara walters just said penis...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize
