my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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