what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize