is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
