You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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