You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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