I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
