I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
