is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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