So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If I die, sorry about rent.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize