The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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