Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
