Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
