he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
