Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
