Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
