What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize