you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize