I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
