i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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