I am in a vortex of obligation.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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