That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have tasted many bathrooms
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
