You smell like stripper and shame
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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