Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
