thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize